Rompiendo un largo silencio

 Rompiendo un largo silencio—Limpieza de primavera tardía

Escrita y revisada entre el 30 de abril y el 25 de mayo de 2022

Deja de hacer lo que estés haciendo y encuentra un lugar para sentarte. Cierra o medio cierra los ojos y respira 25 respiraciones lentas y profundas. Cuéntalos. Luego siéntate por otros cinco minutos. Cronometrarlos. Solo observa la respiración/mente. Luego continúe leyendo a continuación una vez que haya determinado qué acción tomará personalmente para reducir la violencia armada en todo el mundo.*

En primer lugar, la limpieza debe ser de nuestras MENTES. Planifica un ayuno de noticias y redes sociales. Los matones amenazarán, las tormentas rugirán y la gente discutirá e incluso peleará, pero tenemos una herramienta supremamente poderosa que nos da el poder de despejar/limpiar nuestras mentes. Esta herramienta se llama PRÁCTICA de yoga. Practique no solo por sí mismo, sino por la forma en que puede conducir a una acción de discernimiento.

Por lo tanto, el primer bloque de construcción de la limpieza de primavera es la práctica diaria de yoga asana, pranayama y meditación. Establece tu intención/sankalpa (paz en nuestro tiempo/paz en mi vida, por ejemplo) y quédate con ella, fijándola al comienzo de cada práctica. Otros posibles sankalpas podrían ser: que me nutra en la práctica diaria, que encuentre sabiduría en la práctica, que mi práctica beneficie a todos los seres sintientes.

El segundo bloque de construcción a medida que estamos entrando en la temporada alta de kapha, la primavera misma, es PROGRAMAR la limpieza. Podrían ser unos días de un ayuno de solo agua (si somos kapha), una dieta mono si somos más pitta (kichadee** ¿alguien?) o algo un poco más sustancioso pero simple y nutritivo (dos comidas al día de cereales y verduras y frutas frescas, sin grasas ni azúcares añadidos) si somos más vata y/o necesitamos más variación. También la hidratación será importante, no, más que importante, imprescindible.

Algunas investigaciones que he realizado en los últimos años me han enseñado que la calidad del agua juega un papel en la salud que ha sido subestimado. Cuando tuvimos el aviso de hervir el agua en Austin el invierno pasado (y la tormenta de invierno Uri hace un año), brotaron banderas rojas en mi mente sobre la calidad del agua. Un filtro de encimera económico está disponible en Ecowise en Austin, o probablemente también en línea en algún lugar. He estado usando uno durante años. De hecho, fue hoy que aprendí que el agua destilada para cocinar frijoles puede mejorar el proceso. Espero probar esto con mi nuevo amor por el humilde frijol (hecho desde cero, por supuesto, no de una lata).

La duración del ayuno es personalizable. También son importantes los días previos al ayuno (iniciar la experiencia sin dejar el extremo de la indulgencia, por ejemplo) y los días siguientes. Como dijo Bertrand Russell: Cualquier persona puede ayunar. Se necesita una persona sabia para romper uno. Descubrí que mi intuición se ha fortalecido a lo largo de los años de hacer esto, por lo que puedo SENTIR si es apropiado comer solo kichadee sin grasa (con ghee al comienzo del día) durante tres días o una semana completa.

Otros aspectos importantes de la limpieza:

Los rituales de ducha y baño al estilo ayurvédico comenzarán a equilibrar esa piel seca de invierno. Recuerda secarte con una toalla después de la ducha o el baño y luego rociar un buen aceite (almendras, sésamo o coco dependiendo de tu dosha) en tu mano para frotar con movimientos largos sobre tus huesos largos y en patrones circulares sobre tus articulaciones. Dale a la piel de 5 a 10 minutos para que absorba o "coma" el aceite antes de vestirte, y nunca te excedas. Un poco va un largo camino.

Otra opción sería comunicarse con uno de los muchos terapeutas de masaje talentosos en su área y sugerirle que use aceite real en lugar de las cremas que a veces se usan. Hace que las sábanas queden un poco aceitosas, pero un buen detergente eliminará la mayor parte.

La programación de la limpieza juega un papel crucial en su capacidad para cumplirla. En realidad, es mejor elegir un momento, si es posible, en el que tengas más tiempo para meditar a tu disposición, no el momento más ocupado del mes.

Estoy marcando la próxima luna nueva (30 de mayo, tarde para mí este año por una multitud de razones) como fecha de inicio para la limpieza/limpieza de esta primavera. Han sido seis meses desenfrenados para mí con una mudanza fuera de Texas, así que voy a ser fácil conmigo mismo. Probablemente han sido seis meses turbulentos para muchos seres humanos en el mundo con la guerra en Ucrania, masacres en tiendas de comestibles y escuelas, inflación galopante, afectación inminente de los derechos reproductivos y amenazas de escasez de alimentos/fórmula infantil. También podrías tomártelo con calma. No es un signo de debilidad. ¡Puede indicar una gran inteligencia!

La mayoría de ustedes que reciben este mensaje han trabajado conmigo para determinar su dosha y subdoshas dominantes. Recuerde que pensar elementalmente es la base de la curación ayurvédica. La primavera es una estación kapha; la fuerte humedad de kapha se acumula durante el invierno y puede desequilibrarse en la primavera. Por lo tanto, trátese a sí mismo como un niño y establezca algunos límites firmes para hacer que ese adicto a la televisión kapha entre en acción. Por el contrario, pitta se acumula en la primavera, así que tenga cuidado de mantener a raya su mente crítica y sea verdadera y fundamentalmente amable con usted mismo y con los demás, menos crítico.

otros, menos críticos, más tolerantes. El fuego de pitta puede indicar una inteligencia aguda, sin embargo, pitta desequilibrada puede volverse impaciente, enojada o algo peor. El alcohol puede ser una fuente definitiva de desequilibrio para pitta.

Marcaré del lunes 30 de mayo al domingo 5 de junio como mis días de limpieza central. Antes del proceso, dejaré de consumir lácteos y azúcares agregados (por supuesto, nada de carne ni pescado durante la semana) para prepararme para 3 a 5 a 7 días de una monodieta o alimentación simple. Sin grasas, azúcares añadidos ni lácteos durante los días centrales.

Se requiere autodisciplina, autoconciencia y autoconocimiento para pasar por este proceso. Paradójicamente, la experiencia de atravesarlo aumentará tu autodisciplina, autoconciencia y autoconocimiento. En mi opinión, esto hace que valga la pena magníficamente.

El libro que escribí hace unos años, Physical Poetry: Balancing Yoga and Ayurveda, ahora está disponible en formato pdf en inglés o en español. Si desea una copia y aún no tiene una, puedo enviársela por correo electrónico para una donación sugerida de $ 15 a mi cuenta de venmo. Por favor, hágame saber que lo necesita; como dije, $15 es una donación sugerida. Cualquiera que desee la información pero no pueda pagarla, hable. El libro tiene un apéndice con más detalles sobre la limpieza de primavera/otoño. La primera edición se ha agotado y estoy trabajando en ediciones para la segunda edición impresa.

Este ensayo terminará con una oración por sabiduría. Con nuestro mundo tan desafiado por el conflicto, la enfermedad y la disensión, necesitamos toda la ayuda que podamos obtener.

Saha na vavatu

Saha nau bhunaktu

saha viryam

Karavavahai

Tejasvi tamastu ma

Hvidvishavahaii

Om shanti shanti shanti

Que estemos protegidos

Que seamos nutridos

Que seamos fuertes para el estudio y la acción.

Que nuestros estudios sean brillantes

Que no discutamos entre nosotros

*Un lugar para comenzar en los EE. UU. sería verificar la postura de los candidatos políticos sobre la regulación de armas. La Liga de Mujeres Votantes tendrá información. Ver www.lwv.org

Si ingresa su dirección, encontrará los senadores y representantes de su estado. Puede comunicarse directamente con sus oficinas para ver cómo se encuentran en H.R. 8, por ejemplo, un proyecto de ley bipartidista que requiere verificación de antecedentes en todas las ventas de armas.

También existen asociaciones internacionales dedicadas a la paz:

https://greatnonprofits.org/categories/view/international-peace-and-security

**Aquí hay un interesante kicharee de lentejas rojas y quinoa:

https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Quinoa-and-Red-Lentil-Kitchari-1251871

Puede seguir la receta tal como está escrita para la limpieza previa o posterior. Si lo usa durante la limpieza, simplemente omita el aceite y cocine ligeramente al vapor/hierva la cebolla picada en un poco de agua.

Breaking a Long Silence: Late Spring Clean/Transform/Reform in the Old Waning Moon

 The Spring Cleaning—Written and Revised between April 30 and May 25, 2022

 

Stop whatever you are doing and find a place to sit. Close or half close your eyes and breathe 25 slow, deep breaths. Count them. Then sit for another five minutes. Time them. Just observe the breath/mind. Then continue reading below after you have determined just what action you personally are going to take to reduce gun violence around the world.*

 

 

 

 

First and foremost, the cleaning needs to be of our MINDS. Plan on a news and social media fast. Bullies will threaten, storms will rage and people will argue and even fight, but we have a supremely powerful tool to give us the power to clear/clean out our minds. This tool is called yoga PRACTICE. Practice not for itself alone but for the way it can lead to discerning action.

 

Therefore,  the first building block of the spring cleanse is daily yoga asana, pranayama and meditation practice. Set your intention/sankalpa (peace in our time/peace in my life, for example) and stay with it, setting it at the beginning of every practice. Other possible sankalpas might be: may I be nourished in daily practice, may I find wisdom in practice, may my practice benefit all sentient beings.

 

Second building block as we are entering/deep within high kapha season, spring herself, is to SCHEDULE the cleanse. It could be a few days of a water-only fast (if we are kapha), a mono diet if we are more pitta (kichadee** anyone?) or something a little more substantial yet simple and nourishing (two meals a day of grains and fresh vegetables and fruits, no fats and no added sugar) if we are more vata and/or needing more variation. Also hydration will be important—no, more than important, essential.

 

Some research I’ve done over the last few years has taught me that water quality plays a role in health that’s been understated. When we had that boil water notice in Austin last winter (and winter storm Uri a year ago), red flags sprouted in my mind about water quality. An inexpensive countertop filter is available at Ecowise in Austin, or probably online somewhere too. I’ve been using one for years. It was today, in fact, that I learned that distilled water for cooking beans can improve the process. I look forward to trying this with my newfound love of the humble frijol (made from scratch, of course, not from a can).

 

The length of the fast is customizable. Important as well are the lead-in days to the fast (easing into the experience without coming off the extreme of indulgence, for example) and the days following. As Bertrand Russell said: Any person can fast. It takes a wise person to break one. I have found that my intuition has strengthened over the years of doing this, so I can FEEL whether it’s appropriate to eat nonfat kichadee only (with ghee at the beginning of the day) for three days or a full week.

 

Other important aspects of cleansing:

 

Showering and bathing rituals in ayurvedic ways will begin to balance that dry winter skin. Remember to pat dry with a towel after a shower or bath and then spray a good oil (almond, sesame or coconut depending on your dosha) in your hand to spread with long strokes over your long bones and in circular patterns over your joints. Give the skin 5-10 minutes to absorb/”eat” the oil before dressing, and never overdo. A little goes a long way.

 

Another option would be to connect with one of the many gifted massage therapists in your area and suggest that they use real oil instead of the creams that are sometimes used instead. It does make the sheets a bit oily, but a good detergent will take most of it out.

 

The scheduling of the cleanse plays a crucial role in your ability to stick to it.  Really, it’s best to pick a time if possible when you will have more meditative time at your disposal, not the busiest time of the month.

 

I’m marking the next new moon (May 30—late for me this year for a multitude of reasons) as a beginning date for this spring’s clean-out/clear-up. It’s been a riotous six months for me with a move out of Texas, so I’m going easy on myself. It’s probably been a riotous six months for many human beings on the globe with the war in Ukraine, grocery store and school massacres, runaway inflation, impending impingement of reproductive rights and threats of food/infant formula shortages. You could  take it easy on yourself, too. It’s not a sign of weakness. It can indicate high intelligence!

 

Most of you receiving this message have worked with me on determining your dominant dosha and subdoshas. Remember that thinking elementally is the bedrock of ayurvedic healing. Spring is a kapha season; the heavy wetness of kapha builds over the winter and can be out of balance in the spring. Therefore, treat yourself like a child and set some firm boundaries to blast that kapha couch potato into action.  By contrast, pitta is building in the spring, so take care to keep your critical mind at bay and be truly and fundamentally kind to yourself and others, less critical, more accepting. The fire of pitta can indicate sharp intelligence, yet pitta out of balance can become impatient, angry or worse. Alcohol can be a definite source of imbalance for pitta.

 

I’m marking Monday May 30 through Sunday June 5 as my core cleanse days. Leading up to the process, I’ll be cycling out of dairy and added sugars (of course, no meat or fish during the week) to prepare for 3 to 5 to 7 days of a monodiet or simple eating. No fats, added sugars or dairy during the core days.

 

It does require self-discipline, self-awareness and self-knowledge to go through this process. Paradoxically, the experience of going through it will increase your self-discipline, self-awareness and self-knowledge. In my opinion, this makes it magnificently worthwhile.

 

The book I wrote a few years ago, Physical Poetry: Balancing Yoga and Ayurveda, is now available as a pdf. If you would like a copy and don’t have one yet, I can email the to you for a $15 suggested donation to my venmo account. Please just let me know you need it; as I said, $15 is a suggested donation. Anyone who desires the information but cannot afford it, speak up. The book has an appendix with more detail about spring/fall cleansing. The first edition has sold out and I am working on edits for the second print edition.

 

 

 

 

This essay will end with a prayer for wisdom. With our world so challenged by conflict, disease and dissension, we need all the help we can get.

 

Saha na vavatu

Saha nau bhunaktu

Saha viryam

Karavavahai

 

Tejasvi tamastu ma

Hvidvishavahaii

Om shanti shanti shanti

 

May we be protected

May we be nourished

May we be strong for study and action

May our studies be brilliant

May we not argue with each other

 

 

 

*One place to start in the U.S. would be to check political candidates’ stance on gun regulation. The League of Women Voters will have information. See www.lwv.org

If you enter your address, you will find out your state’s senators and representatives. You can communicate directly with their offices to see how they stand on H.R. 8, for example, a bipartisan bill to require background checks on all gun sales.

 

There are also international associations dedicated to peace:

https://greatnonprofits.org/categories/view/international-peace-and-security

 

 

**Here is an interesting red lentil and quinoa kicharee:

https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Quinoa-and-Red-Lentil-Kitchari-1251871

You could follow the recipe as written for the pre-or post-cleanse. If using during the cleanse, just omit oil and lightly steam/boil the chopped onion in a bit of water instead.

 

 

Listening with a Yogic Mind and Heart

The events of the last two weeks worldwide since the murder of George Floyd have propelled us into an unprecedented national dialogue on #blacklivesmatter.

All I can do some mornings is hang my head at the racist system I am part of. The very neighborhood of Austin I live in is clearly thoroughly privileged. My education was largely paid for. Neither I nor any member of my family has experienced gun violence, or racial violence or violence of any kind, except perhaps the self-inflicted kind.

When we as part of this privileged minority ask what we can do about the problem of racism which has such deep roots in our history and our culture, I think of my parents who thought education was the answer to everything. I know now that it is decidedly not the answer to everything, but it does not hurt to read and learn and listen and observe carefully.

When I think of the global community of Iyengar yoga students and teachers of which I am a part, again I hang my head. The originators of this approach to yoga are people of color. Iyengar himself when he first came to the West experienced racism directed to him personally. He spoke about it and pointed out that our job as yogis is to practice the yamas and niyamas. He left it at that. So for years, I thought we could leave it at that, too.

It is now, however, abundantly clear that we absolutely cannot leave it at that. Although reading has helped shape my thinking about where to go from here (and I’ll mention a few books below*), the times demand action. Social media are now full of links to online sites where we can donate to bail funds, to Breonna Taylor’s wrongful murder fund, to the George Floyd family fund. More than this, though, we need to redefine something ESSENTIAL.

What is ESSENTIAL work? Is it ESSENTIAL that we continue to live in a society where not all children have access to day care, where not all children have access to a quality education, where not all young adults have equal access to housing and jobs? I think not, so we have to work on the local level and then state and national levels to bring new legislation forth that will protect our young equally and our elders equally. We need new legislation to mandate a living wage for day-care workers and primary adult-care givers, plus health and vacation benefits for them. We need to recognize who actually performs these ESSENTIAL jobs and pay more than lip service to their SERVICE. They deserve medals! They deserve benefits. We all deserve equal access to jobs and education. Surely the sixties and seventies showed us part of a way forward on those issues.

But we need to go much further if our values from those years are to truly have meaning.

If that will create a world in which my descendants have less than my parents’ generation or my generation had or has, so be it. I’d like to share with you a few words written by our SOLE Iyengar Yoga teacher of color from Austin Texas. Her family has lived here for generations; her grandfather built the house in East Austin where she and her husband now live:

I believed BEFORE the death of Mr George Floyd that this country is embedded in systemic racism. Most are blind to this fact. they don't need to see. This country was built on racism. This
concept is so difficult to explain to people who have never had to deal directly with it. The whole thing makes me angry. It made my parents angry, their parents and so on. When people say "all lives matter" it devalues me - directly saying that systemic racism doesn't exist. The brutality and the murders of black people all around the world is proof that the lives of black people don't really matter. 

The entire system needs to change, education, housing, employment, judicial all of it, it's all designed to suffocate me. –Lisa Johnson, Iyengar Yoga teacher, Austin, Texas (with permission)

“Designed to suffocate me.” Those words hit me very hard and have me determined to seek a path to a better world for all in this lifetime, on this earth NOW. Surely our work in Yoga can help guide us on the path. As Resmaa Menakem so eloquently points out in his transformational work on racism, it’s not so much “white supremacy” as it is “white BODY supremacy.” Maybe he has struck nerve here. Trauma, as we all know, lives deep within the body. When that trauma is racialized, as we see in our country, the BODY needs to be treated as well as the mind and spirit. Of course, in this lifetime, on this earth, all are interconnected. Yet we still cannot treat one without treating the others. The body and must be dealt with. It can, if left untreated, lead to the deepest suffering.  Perhaps this truth is part of the reason why so very many people have found solace, meaning, and balm for trauma in the practice of Yoga. My hopeful expectation is that we can all move forward and do the needful to dismantle white degeneracy in order to create a more just world.

Books: 

The Warmth of Other Suns, about the Great Migration after the Civil War

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, about one black family’s journey through the medical maze

Just Mercy, about Brian Stephenson’s work with the Equal Justice Initiative

The New Jim Crow, about our Prison Injustice System

My Grandmother’s Hands, about white BODY supremacy and the necessity to address racial trauma, by Resmaa Menakem

Other media: 

Lots available from a movie about Henrietta Lacks, to one about Bryan Stephenson to a series about the four Black adolescents convicted and later cleared of the crime of rape in New York (“When they See Us”). 

Full Moon, Pedregal, AMYI Convention, Mexico City September

Full moon Mexico City 13 September 2019

Pedregal is the name of a section of Mexico City. It is not far from the volcano Iztaccíhuatl,

which is considered to be extinct. Lorena Beltran and I joked about the theory of extinction. She pointed out that the volcano Popocatepetl which had been considered to be extinct turned out, in 2014, and into the present. NOT to be.

So in Mexico City, anything can happen. Of course anything can happen anywhere, but in La Ciudad Grande y Majestuosa de México, this seems to be particularly true.

The days before el Día de la Independencia in Mexico (16 septiembre) are called “la Puente,” because they form a bridge to the holiday, roughly equivalent to our fourth of July. The day commemorates the New Republic of Mexico throwing off the stern yoke of Spanish Conquest. Since the time of Cortés, the native peoples of Mexico had been under the iron rule of the European nation of Spain. All the native tribes—the Aztecs, the Mixtecs, the Olmecs, and many others fought with each other and with the conquerors for protection of their native territories.

All over the city we see red, green and white decorations and many Mexican flags flying—flaunting of course the same colors in vivid blocks with an eagle in the middle. The occasion for my visit was the 11^th annual Iyengar Convention, held at the Centro Asturias and presided over by Bobbie Clennell, a senior teacher from New York. The convention was marvelous—Bobbie is an excellent teacher—and the best part of it was that AMYI (the Mexican Iyengar Association) was able to offer the classes free to members of the Association.

I also attended, prior to the convention itself, a meeting of the AMYI Certification Committee, of which I have been an advising member for a couple of years. The miracle of this recent meeting was that all present were able to voice their concerns and all present were able to listen to each other respectfully. All agreed to the principles proposed by the Committee President, Rosanna Rubio, who led the meeting with grace and poise.

So, all told, it was a short but eventful visit, and highlighted by a cena, on the full moon night, to a restaurant near the ancestral home in Pedregal of the internationally famous Mexican architect, Luis Barragan. He was known for his use of color and for his modern structures that showed off color and light in a new and unusual way. You can see his influence all over the country in the brightly colored walls. His innovations and genius remain alive as “emotional architecture.”

I’m reviewing this writing during Climate Week in New York City. What strikes me is the emotional response I had, undoubtedly with many others on the planet, to seeing a photograph of the United Nations building lit up with the stern, elegant words of Greta Thunberg. She reminds us that today is the day to change our ways, or the consequences will be inexcusable. Agreed.

New Moon/Eagle Woman Toms River, September 2019

New Moon Toms River 2019 September

Virgo, working clean, fasting now

Eating leftovers hard on a belly

Waiting for cocktail hour, mets winning

Losing disappointing amazing

Deer running rampant hordes young

& old, hummers here till mid month

Maybe longer climate change

Shootings everywhere, nowhere

Safe bump stocks banned shootings

Not diminished no solution no 

Where to hide man enough to

Be moms now rush the senate its

Their fault Moscow mitch and nra

Funded politicians too scared to lose

Campaign funding the root of the 

Problem, old story, sold story

Eternal greed envy and fear

We’re cooked, just

Cooked, all in a global

Concentration camp

Waiting to die

Full Moon, Rising Soon, Sunset Georgian Bay August 2019

8/16/19, at Georgian/Glacier Bay

So this morning she invents rituals for her mongrel tribe

After the father dies, you shall enter a cave for three days and live without food or water

When you emerge, you must call for him in a loud voice and when he does not answer, you must bury your head in your hands and grieve in your way for the rest of the day

When the mother dies, you shall enter the woods and wander on purpose to be lost

When you feel completely lost you must despair and call for her

When she does not answer, you shall lie on the earth and kick with your legs and punch the air with your arms and wail and rage as loud as your voice allows.

 When you finally fall asleep you dream that she is holding you in her arms and you are sucking her tit. Waking you realize that she is with you giving you strength to find your way home

When the sibling dies you shall swim in deep cold water over your head until you are exhausted and when you feel that you surely shall drown you must cry out loud for other siblings to come to your aid

When they do not come—they do not or will not hear you, you must rescue yourself

When the lover dies the lover shall wander the earth—cities and towns and wild wastes—crying out for the beloved in any and all languages that she knows. He shall curse the lover, she shall praise the lover. She shall enter the empress’s castle as a spy and spy on all lovers there. He shall enter the bodies of the lovers at the moment of orgasm and take on the ecstasy of each then slip away to hibernate/estivate/germinate anew 

When the spouse dies the spouse shall disappear from all viewers and times and places into a space of no thing no person no animal no sun no rain no wind no ice no heat no storms no earthquakes no tsunamis or hurricanes. The spouse shall disappear therefore into a void to die while alive to let go of their life to let go of their memory to let go of their heart/mind/soul to let go of life itself to practice dying. After practicing, the spouse can return or stay dead/undead as the signs reveal.

When the child dies the sibling/parent/aunt/uncle/cousin/grandfather/mother must build altars for them, say shiva for them, crying out: “Luckypup, lucky puss, you have dodged the bullet of more life, of sorrow, of disaster/defeat/disappointment, of the shit river. Cursedpup, cursedpuss, you have left us forever with your shining face and limber limbs unfinished your mindbody pure of the stain of lust of procreation of longing, lucky/unlucky pup we miss you as we miss nothing else as we miss the nothing that you left behind as we miss you reading the runes of our lives

you still outlive us

Speaking about language with the Canadian boys

They know that it is arbitrary, their Vietnamese grandmother, like your Polish grandmother, never spoke her native language to you.  No, scratch that, your Polish grandmother tried when you were eight and living on Perry street and she was visiting from Jersey. She spoke of masculine and feminine pronouns and you gave up. You gave up because you did not understand what she meant by masculine and feminine pronouns.

New Moon, August, Tom's River, NJ

Speechless Yet Writing, New Moon August 2019

So, the moon is new again, in Leo, of course, since that’s where the sun is now. Leo’s a sign, of course, of much optimism and constancy. The moon, of course, is the main planetary symbol of Inconstancy. So we’ve got ourselves a bit of a built-in dualism, you might say.

Speechlessness finds me this morning. Maybe it will spill over into my fingers and prevent me from typing. The tipping point I reached last fall has developed into a complete “bouleversement.” It is as if a big unexpected rogue wave came and tossed me completely over as I was swimming in what appeared to be a calmer sea. Plan of action—I can’t even imagine at this point. Overwhelmed, silenced (almost), in shock. Which is where it seems that domestic terrorists and gun rights activists want me to be.

So I am complying for this morning. A combination of reading “Silk Roads” and “The Warmth of Other Suns” (actually listening to the last one and reading the former out loud) is giving us quite a fascinating perspective on ancient and recent history. People have been unspeakably cruel to each other for centuries. Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Pagans warred, pillaged, raped and plundered for centuries. White southerners and northerners and black migrants have all been unspeakably cruel to African americans for centuries.  This cruelty is not something we can just wipe off the board. Hatred and the capacity to act on hatred is not something any of us can say we are immune from. Yet one can’t help but wonder if more difficulty in procuring assault weapons and access to better education would both help?  Truly, I am today beside myself with paralysis and despair.

Yet the hummingbirds still come to Helen’s sugar water and the deer of all ages (FOUR fawns with white speckles) come to the back yard, indeed all over the neighborhood in south Jersey.

The beautiful ocean still beckons and the bakery and library on the way home entice us as usual. Life goes on. And on, and on, until it doesn’t.

Tom’s River, Ocean County, New Jersey, 2 August 2019