New Moon, August, Tom's River, NJ

Speechless Yet Writing, New Moon August 2019

So, the moon is new again, in Leo, of course, since that’s where the sun is now. Leo’s a sign, of course, of much optimism and constancy. The moon, of course, is the main planetary symbol of Inconstancy. So we’ve got ourselves a bit of a built-in dualism, you might say.

Speechlessness finds me this morning. Maybe it will spill over into my fingers and prevent me from typing. The tipping point I reached last fall has developed into a complete “bouleversement.” It is as if a big unexpected rogue wave came and tossed me completely over as I was swimming in what appeared to be a calmer sea. Plan of action—I can’t even imagine at this point. Overwhelmed, silenced (almost), in shock. Which is where it seems that domestic terrorists and gun rights activists want me to be.

So I am complying for this morning. A combination of reading “Silk Roads” and “The Warmth of Other Suns” (actually listening to the last one and reading the former out loud) is giving us quite a fascinating perspective on ancient and recent history. People have been unspeakably cruel to each other for centuries. Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Pagans warred, pillaged, raped and plundered for centuries. White southerners and northerners and black migrants have all been unspeakably cruel to African americans for centuries.  This cruelty is not something we can just wipe off the board. Hatred and the capacity to act on hatred is not something any of us can say we are immune from. Yet one can’t help but wonder if more difficulty in procuring assault weapons and access to better education would both help?  Truly, I am today beside myself with paralysis and despair.

Yet the hummingbirds still come to Helen’s sugar water and the deer of all ages (FOUR fawns with white speckles) come to the back yard, indeed all over the neighborhood in south Jersey.

The beautiful ocean still beckons and the bakery and library on the way home entice us as usual. Life goes on. And on, and on, until it doesn’t.

Tom’s River, Ocean County, New Jersey, 2 August 2019