Wednesday, September 25, 2019

New Moon/Eagle Woman Toms River, September 2019

New Moon Toms River 2019 September

Virgo, working clean, fasting now
Eating leftovers hard on a belly

Waiting for cocktail hour, mets winning
Losing disappointing amazing
Deer running rampant hordes young
& old, hummers here till mid month
Maybe longer climate change

Shootings everywhere, nowhere
Safe bump stocks banned shootings
Not diminished no solution no 
Where to hide man enough to

Be moms now rush the senate its
Their fault Moscow mitch and nra
Funded politicians too scared to lose

Campaign funding the root of the 
Problem, old story, sold story
Eternal greed envy and fear

We’re cooked, just
Cooked, all in a global
Concentration camp
Waiting to die

Full Moon, Rising Soon, Sunset Georgian Bay August 2019

8/16/19, at Georgian/Glacier Bay

So this morning she invents rituals for her mongrel tribe
After the father dies, you shall enter a cave for three days and live without food or water
When you emerge, you must call for him in a loud voice and when he does not answer, you must bury your head in your hands and grieve in your way for the rest of the day

When the mother dies, you shall enter the woods and wander on purpose to be lost
When you feel completely lost you must despair and call for her
When she does not answer, you shall lie on the earth and kick with your legs and punch the air with your arms and wail and rage as loud as your voice allows.
 When you finally fall asleep you dream that she is holding you in her arms and you are sucking her tit. Waking you realize that she is with you giving you strength to find your way home

When the sibling dies you shall swim in deep cold water over your head until you are exhausted and when you feel that you surely shall drown you must cry out loud for other siblings to come to your aid
When they do not come—they do not or will not hear you, you must rescue yourself

When the lover dies the lover shall wander the earth—cities and towns and wild wastes—crying out for the beloved in any and all languages that she knows. He shall curse the lover, she shall praise the lover. She shall enter the empress’s castle as a spy and spy on all lovers there. He shall enter the bodies of the lovers at the moment of orgasm and take on the ecstasy of each then slip away to hibernate/estivate/germinate anew 

When the spouse dies the spouse shall disappear from all viewers and times and places into a space of no thing no person no animal no sun no rain no wind no ice no heat no storms no earthquakes no tsunamis or hurricanes. The spouse shall disappear therefore into a void to die while alive to let go of their life to let go of their memory to let go of their heart/mind/soul to let go of life itself to practice dying. After practicing, the spouse can return or stay dead/undead as the signs reveal.

When the child dies the sibling/parent/aunt/uncle/cousin/grandfather/mother must build altars for them, say shiva for them, crying out: “Luckypup, lucky puss, you have dodged the bullet of more life, of sorrow, of disaster/defeat/disappointment, of the shit river. Cursedpup, cursedpuss, you have left us forever with your shining face and limber limbs unfinished your mindbody pure of the stain of lust of procreation of longing, lucky/unlucky pup we miss you as we miss nothing else as we miss the nothing that you left behind as we miss you reading the runes of our lives
you still outlive us

Speaking about language with the Canadian boys
They know that it is arbitrary, their Vietnamese grandmother, like your Polish grandmother, never spoke her native language to you.  No, scratch that, your Polish grandmother tried when you were eight and living on Perry street and she was visiting from Jersey. She spoke of masculine and feminine pronouns and you gave up. You gave up because you did not understand what she meant by masculine and feminine pronouns.



New Moon, August, Tom's River, NJ

Speechless Yet Writing, New Moon August 2019

So, the moon is new again, in Leo, of course, since that’s where the sun is now. Leo’s a sign, of course, of much optimism and constancy. The moon, of course, is the main planetary symbol of Inconstancy. So we’ve got ourselves a bit of a built-in dualism, you might say.

Speechlessness finds me this morning. Maybe it will spill over into my fingers and prevent me from typing. The tipping point I reached last fall has developed into a complete “bouleversement.” It is as if a big unexpected rogue wave came and tossed me completely over as I was swimming in what appeared to be a calmer sea. Plan of action—I can’t even imagine at this point. Overwhelmed, silenced (almost), in shock. Which is where it seems that domestic terrorists and gun rights activists want me to be.

So I am complying for this morning. A combination of reading “Silk Roads” and “The Warmth of Other Suns” (actually listening to the last one and reading the former out loud) is giving us quite a fascinating perspective on ancient and recent history. People have been unspeakably cruel to each other for centuries. Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Pagans warred, pillaged, raped and plundered for centuries. White southerners and northerners and black migrants have all been unspeakably cruel to African americans for centuries.  This cruelty is not something we can just wipe off the board. Hatred and the capacity to act on hatred is not something any of us can say we are immune from. Yet one can’t help but wonder if more difficulty in procuring assault weapons and access to better education would both help?  Truly, I am today beside myself with paralysis and despair.

Yet the hummingbirds still come to Helen’s sugar water and the deer of all ages (FOUR fawns with white speckles) come to the back yard, indeed all over the neighborhood in south Jersey.
The beautiful ocean still beckons and the bakery and library on the way home entice us as usual. Life goes on. And on, and on, until it doesn’t.

Tom’s River, Ocean County, New Jersey, 2 August 2019

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Full Moon July, Always Guru Purnima this month/memories

Full moon July—always Guru Purnima

Waking early, waking late, wanting to be somewhere else, and fidgeting where I am. This is the nature of this July. Just back from teaching in Costa Rica for three weeks, about to leave for the Northeast for three months. The great experiment.

Yet what still gives life meaning is sharing yoga with others. The message that we are perfect and practice to make progress in that understanding. This comes clear slowly. The inner bully is so very strong and so hard to combat. It IS an inner war. This bully is old, wily and powerful. Paths to love are overgrown. Reaching back, reading back into childhood—The Secret Garden—understandings of the soul from the first and second decade of life. Imagining back into the childhoods of parents and grandparents. Needing to contact cousins for memories that will be lost if not shared. 


Sounding in yoga practice and in class with students/friends. Who was nonplussed, who was enchanted? Who refused to participate? Channelling Ramanand Patel, Mukesh Desai and Prashant Iyengar—invitation to the lab that each of us is, the container for directing vibration, for healing. Reiki music. The soul of a son, of a long long time friend, and my soul. These souls connecting, growing together, growing apart and on and on.

PS: The last post before this one should have been titled "New Moon in JULY", not June.........I figured out how to "update" it, so all is correct now.

Sunday, July 7, 2019

New Moon in July--Crab Moon/Luna Cangrejo


“ahimsa prathisthayam tat sannidau vairatyagah”— When the yogi/ni is established in nonviolence, violence ceases in her/his presence.

It never fails to amaze me how much yoga can touch people’s lives and transform them in a very short time. Our group at the yoga training program in Samara, Costa Rica, is small (only ten with four faculty additional). We range in age from 21 to 70. We have lived and now live all over the States and Central America. Some of us have travelled to India, Africa, Asia and Europe. Now we find ourselves part of a group of fellow seekers in a tropical beach town in the green nation of Costa Rica to deepen practice and learn techniques of practicing and teaching yoga.

Practice, of course, is the key. We have some distractions here, but not many. In fact, for the first week, I did not even have much access to internet, which made me realize how very attached I am to it when it is not available. With hours each day to chant sutras, discuss ideas, practice known asanas and learn new ones, explore the link between Ayurveda and Yoga and begin to implement some of the practices, we have a perfect tropical laboratory to work in.

The energy of the new moon in Cancer is palpable today; we are having scattered rolling thunderstorms. We often walk the beach at sunrise and sunset during the sunny, or at least rain-free, breaks. If I could rename Sámara Beach, I would call it Silver Beach (Playa Plateado)  because the light on the wet sand as the tide goes out makes it look so shiny and silvery), we returned home for tea and banana cake, made just a few hours ago. Pura Vida!

Today was more low key, many of us seemed to have less energy, some had not been able to keep up with homework. We adjourned an hour early to give folks time to catch up, and had a good walk on the beach at sunset to re-admire the silvery sand, clouds and water.


The news coming from the States and the world seems distant and always disturbing—global warming warnings (hail in Guadalajara, mega-heat waves in Europe, floods in Mumbai), inhumane conditions at our southern border, another shooting. If we could find a way to make peaceful warriors of all the yogis in our midst, what would be the most beautiful, sensible, simple, earth-caring, people-nurturing way to live?


Coming back from kayaking yesterday, we came through a small traffic jam by Carillo Beach. As we made our way through it became clear that the jam had been caused by the sand crabs crossing the road. These crabs are nocturnal; they climb out of their holes in the sand at sunset and traverse the sand (and roads). Maybe it’s time for the yogis too too climb out of their cave/homes and take a look around. Then, perhaps after a conversation with the modern equivalent of Krishna as our charioteer/guide to our current predicament, we can take considered action. Just a thought……
A note about the photo: the tiny blur to the right of the top cloud IS the new moon in Cancer.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Full Moon in June--Levitating with Iyengar

Full Moon in June

Levitating with Iyengar—“By mastery of udana vayu, the yogi can walk over water, swamps and thorns without touching them. S/he can also levitate.” Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras III.40, Iyengar translation

Sometimes I wonder how it felt for BKS Iyengar to put himself on a plane and travel for the first time out of India. It’s been mentioned to me that devout Brahmins (he was of that tribe) do not allow their kin to travel out of the motherland. Krishnamacharya, BKS’s guru, never went abroad, though his son, Desikachar did. There is a fine new biography of BKS Iyengar by Rashmi Palkhivala, called “A Life of Light.”

The story of Guruji’s first trip overseas is told in Chapter Eleven, “The Flight of the Yogl.”  The Brahmin prohibition against crossing the seas is based on the belief that the ocean is a resting place for gods and they should never be disturbed. Iyengar did check with his mother, who gave her blessing for his trip, though his uncles vowed that their nephew would never enter their homes again.

The year was 1954. Iyengar had an invitation from Menuhin, who called him “my best violin teacher”, because after working with Iyengar, Menuhin could play again as his serious back pain resolved. Iyengar’s destination was Gstaad, Switzerland. The entire family and some faithful students came to the airport in Mumbai to see him off. This was the fateful journey that opened so many doors for him and for his teaching, and for yoga in the west. Palkhivala’s biography tells the sad story of how emaciated Iyengar was after returning home, since at that time there was little understanding of the vegetarian diet. The story is sadder still, because the hotel administration at the Gstaad establishment where he stayed insisted that he stay in his room so as not to disturb other guests, who were not used to seeing people of color there. Staying in his room was even a compromise, because at first, the staff would not even let him enter. Only pressure from Menuhin led to the “solution.”

Now I’m circling back to the Yoga Sutras and Iyengar’s commentary on Patanjali’s work.  In the second chapter, which is entitled the chapter “on practice”, there is a sutra (33) which describes what is to be done in the face of principles which run contrary to Yama and Niyama, the great moral and ethical vows of yoga. Iyengar’s translation: “Principles which run contrary to Yama and Niyama are to be countered with the knowledge of discrimination.” I think Bryant’s rendering is also helpful here: “Upon being harassed by negative thoughts, one should cultivate contracting thoughts.” Iyengar’s commentary on the sutra includes a discussion of the measuring process we call “paksha pratipaksha”—applying counteracting thoughts. He says “This is in some respects the key to why yoga practice actually works, why it has mechanical power to revolutionize our whole being. It is why asana is not gymnastics, why pranayama is not deep breathing, why dhyana is not self-induced trance, why Yama is not just morality…. We are taught nowadays that the miracle of the world’s ecosystem is its balance, a balance which modern man is fast destroying by deforestation, pollution, over-consumption. This is because when man becomes unbalanced, he seeks to change not himself but his environment, in order to create the illusion that he is enjoying health and harmony. In winter he overheats his house, in summer he freezes it with air-conditioning. This is not stability but arrogance.”

We all realize how many times after 1954 Iyengar crossed the oceans of the world. He did, however, realize that though his Brahmin tribe believed that the gods in the ocean must not be disturbed, with his mother’s permission, he travelled to share the art and science of yoga with the rest of the world. His last airplane journey may have been to China, where he taught at a convention in 2011. 

Now the world faces a tipping point in so many ways. All my reading and research in the last almost five years (since my granddaughter was born) indicates that yesterday was the time to take action on our global climate crisis. In our yoga community, we have a system that depends on people flying around the country for assessments. Surely we can by now find a better way to assess that will bring less harm to the atmosphere. There is a movement afoot to encourage academics to travel less to conferences. With all our technologies available for video conferencing, we should be able to solve this puzzle of feeling as though we need to fly people or fly ourselves around the globe many times a year. A statistic I saw recently said that every roundtrip ticket from New York to London melts three cubic meters of Arctic Ice.

Countries with smaller economies than ours are at greater risk as we go through this transition to carbon neutrality (I hope and pray we are on the way). All this is on my mind as I go through June remembering how last year we were preparing for a journey to Pune, and prepare myself to fly to teach in Costa Rica. This will, at least, be the last time I teach there, and though it is an inspiring country to visit (they plan to be carbon neutral amazingly soon—maybe by 2025, if I remember correctly), I can live comfortably in Austin, or wherever I have to be.


May all beings flourish!

Monday, June 10, 2019

New Moon in June, 2019

New Moon in June, 2019

Wear Orange Weekend is just over. Historical background: Orange is the color that Hadiya Pendelton’s friends wore in her honor when she was shot and killed in Chicago at the age of 15. She died one week after performing at President Obama’s second inaugural parade in 2013. After Hadiya’s death, her friends asked that those of us who want to raise awareness of gun violence and raise the cry for legislation to curb the virus of senseless shootings also wear orange to honor her memory.

Enough history. If you want to support this effort, read a history of the second amendment (a good one is: “The Second Amendment” by Michael Waldman)   and a history of the National Rifle Association (a good one is: “Gunfight—The Battle over the Right to Bear Arms in America” by Adam Winkler). I’m on my way to the library this morning to pick up copies of the recently published “Fight Like a Mother” by Shannon Watts, mother of the nonprofit “mothers for common sense gun control”—www.momsdemandaction.org, and "Guns Down: How to Defeat the NRA and Build a Safer Future with Fewer Guns" by Igor Volsky ( one of the founders of gunsdown.org).


If Jacinda Ardern in New Zealand can lead her country to common sense gun legislation we can do the same in the United States. This is my firm belief. Unfortunately I live in Texas, where a bill was introduced during this most recent legislative session to create a statewide “gun safety awareness month.” The fact that there was opposition to this initiative is frankly beyond belief, but there was—this is Texas, after all. In my darker moments I see all our cold dead hands holding our cold spent weapons.

Recently I’ve been reviewing the writings and sermons and speeches of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior. In a nutshell, he studied the writings and lives of other great leaders whose methods were nonviolent, chief among them Mahatma Gandhi. King often emphasized that three forces fuel the darkness in the world: poverty, racism and militarism. To get concrete here, what we can do to ease the situation, if we care at all, is tithe part of our incomes to worthy causes that fight poverty, educate ourselves about racism (see the prior blog) and perhaps start another War Tax Resisters’ movement.

These are my thoughts this morning, inspired partly by Caroline Serich’s post about the experience of santosa or contentment in yoga practice
: “I became present to a ‘do nothing’ feeling arising in me and ever so gently the awareness of contentedness, realizing that that contentedness is always present, the me of contentedness, although not always connected to it! This me of contentedness was not subject to the political quagmire of today’s world and the dire circumstances of climate change or the destruction of the planet’s biodiversity. It is undisturbed, unequivocally peaceful. And it is also not permission to be disconnected or even detached from world events. Rather it is the underpinning of clarity, the strength to act where action is needed.”

None of us has permission right now to be disconnected, partly because it is impossible.